Beautiful?

I never thought of myself as beautiful
It was something I would never be
That was apparent very early on
It was how things were for me

My only chance of being so
Required makeup and a professional hairstyle
And of course a stunning dress
And a bright and beaming smile

But in the everyday
My chances of beauty were very low
I was intelligent, talented, kind, and considerate
But beautiful? Me? No

And in case I had any aspirations
Of thinking more of my appearance
I had severe acne resistant to treatment
That would throw anyone’s confidence

But now I am in my late twenties
And recently I’ve begun to wonder
Could I be beautiful after all?
What a thought that is to ponder!

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder
And what a critical beholder I have been!
All I have been able to see is my flaws
Could I really be beautiful? Me?

We all have beauty of our own
We are all beautiful in our own way
So why when I know this is the case
Do I find the words so hard to say?

I am beautiful truly I am
Especially now my skin is almost clear
So long I have dreamed of the day
That fearless I could look in a mirror

Mirrors have been such hated objects
Created only to cause me pain
Resulting in my self-sabotaging
Attacking myself again and again

But I will never heal
Neither on the inside nor the out
If I am always taking out my pain on myself
Of that I have no doubt

Why would I stop myself being beautiful?
Where is the sense in that?
Why can I not allow my beauty to shine through?
Why must my looks I always attack?

And of course as with all self-sabotage
It only causes me more pain
So I’m going to start treating myself right
And from attacking myself refrain

Dammit I want to be beautiful!
Beauty can be a positive force in my life
It doesn’t need to be a negative
It doesn’t need to cause me strife

From here on in I promise myself
In fact I will make a vow
I will allow myself to be beautiful
And I will allow it starting right now!

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s