Blog

Anger Can Be Good

I’ve tried to be good for so long
Have tried to be a ‘nice girl’
Tried to be everything everyone else seems to want
To take my ‘proper place’ in the world

But that isn’t who I am!
I am not who others think I should be!
I am sick of being told what I ‘should’ or ‘shouldn’t do’
Leave me alone and let me be me!

I truly can’t keep going on this path
If it’s only about peace, love, and light
Those values are very important to me yes
But sometimes it doesn’t feel quite right

It appears I’m meant to forgive unconditionally
Stop judging others for the harm they may cause
And even if they seek to emotionally wound me
Before reacting to them I should pause…. ….

And realise that they are my challenger
And consider what they are teaching me
Remember that good and bad are human labels
And then respond to them considerately

And sure I guess that is indeed so
From a spiritual point of view, no doubt
But I’m not just spiritual, I’m human as well
And sometimes I need to let things out!

If I am prepared to permit ill treatment
To swallow down my pride, anger, and rage
Then I need to know I will suffer for this
I must let the trapped beast out of the cage

Okay so you have been my challengers
And you have shown me the extent of my pride
And while I’m proud I didn’t respond to your nastiness
From my anger I’m no longer going to hide

Yes we all have a role to play
But you still should take responsibility for your actions
And just because I can control myself enough
To no longer give you a reaction

Doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt
For it didn’t need to be said at all
Does it really make you feel better to belittle others?
Won’t relying on that lead to a fall?

And okay so maybe I’m not as strong as you guys
Maybe my body won’t tolerate what yours go through
But that doesn’t mean I’m weak and lazy
Just that I’m very different to you

If you stop telling me what I should do
You might be surprised by what I achieve
Have you thought about not judging me for a moment?
And reconsidering what it is you perceive?

Who cares if I let you down?
Who cares what ‘the neighbors’ think?
Whatever happened to love unconditional?
You know I’m not going to sink!

This is whom I was born to be
This magnificent version of myself
And you don’t get to have a say in it
Neither you nor anyone else!

No I’m not going to obey convention
I choose to walk the untrod path
To take the road less travelled
Remember how to dance and laugh

And you can have whatever opinion you want
And no doubt you will share it
But though I will remain quiet in response maybe
No longer will my immune system wear it

Anger can be a positive emotion
Very powerful and sexual too
But I was always swallowing down my anger
Because negatively it I viewed

But anger can be good
If it is used in the right way
For it is passion, the fire of the universe
And it needs to have its say

First is to acknowledge the anger
Stop denying that you have been hurt
Then is to consider what to do about it
What solutions this energy can birth

But using it to attack others
Either with words or physically
Is a complete misuse of this power
Surely this you can now see?

There are always better ways
Methods that are more constructive
In helping you to release your energy
In a manner much less destructive

Lashing out is not the answer
But neither is holding it in
Pretending that you don’t feel angry at all
For isn’t wrath a deadly sin?

In order to know how to heal
You first need to know how to hex
Anger is a very powerful emotion
And denying it will truly have an adverse effect

So I’m going to reconnect with my anger
This energetic passion inside of me
I’m going to look at better ways of releasing
For this can’t continue I see

It is not okay that they treat me like this
It is not okay that they always have
But it is okay that I am angry about it
Feeling angry doesn’t make me ‘bad’

Dear anger I accept your presence
And I acknowledge the lessons you bring
I choose to be a victim of others no more
It’s time I stopped this cycle of self-blaming

For I am not other people’s thoughts about me
They are entitled to their own opinions yes
But I determine they’ll no longer have power over me
That’s the only way I can achieve true success

I’m a spiritual being having a human journey
And humans judge and don’t always forgive
Yes I can learn to accept unconditionally
But detached from my self I don’t want to live

My anger is a vital part of myself
This I can finally see
To deny myself righteous anger
Is to deny an essential part of me

For anger provided the courage to face my battles
And the energy to continue on this path
And it was anger that made me aware of my boundaries
So from here on in I will befriend my wrath

In Celebration of Your Wedding

I remember the first time I spoke with you
“If you’re meant to marry someone, how do you know?”
You wisely responded to my inquiry
“If you’re asking, the answer is probably no”

Though that wasn’t so long ago really
So much time has passed it seems now!
Now that we’re meeting up once again
After you’ve said your own wedding vows

At times during this lifetime of ours
We can become cynical and jaded by love
Start to believe that it’s all only a myth
Something that will never be real for us

But fortunately we have people such as you two
Who prove the fairytale can come true
It is possible to find someone truly compatible
Someone who can bring out the best in you

I never imagined all those years ago
That things would turn out as they have
But seeing you together so full of love for each other
I have to admit I am glad

To meet someone who allows you your freedom
Who permits you the chance to fly free
Allows you the space to grow and to change
Yet still loves you unconditionally

That is the most beautiful gift
You can ever give to somebody else
To love them exactly as they are
Just for being themselves

I am delighted for the two of you
That you have found this gift so rare
For this is something truly special
Nothing else can really compare

You give the rest of us hope
That we might experience the same one-day
That we too might know love like this
In a time not too far away

My blessings on your marriage
May your love remain forever strong
And comfort the two of you always
Even when things may be going wrong

May you always find happiness with each other
May your friendship stand the test of time
May you always be able to communicate
May the fates to you be kind

May you know very little sorrow
And always have knowledge of joy
May your children grow up healthy and strong
Whether they be girls or boys!

Congratulations to the two of you
I hope each other you will always adore
Here’s to a very successful life together
May marital bliss always be yours

Body Talk

Ignorance is bliss they say
And sometimes that is true
I was certainly in a more blissful state
Before I knew my body’s point of view

Well actually that’s not really correct
Because before I tried tuning in
My body was constantly trying to get my attention
With everything from knee pain to migraines

But I felt like I was more in control!
Not being bossed by this body of mine
Of course I wasn’t going to get away with it forever
It was always only a matter of time

First were the horrific migraines
Infrequent but common enough
And worst of all during medical school
Making my time there even more tough

And then of course the knee pain
Requiring finally an operation
For I had developed ‘runner’s knee’
Though I was hardly running marathons!

And numerous other little things
That let me know my body’s displeasure
Well they would’ve if I had been listening
I have since learnt to treat myself better

Now I have come to realise
If my head begins to ache
Then I am out of balance again
Somewhere I have made a mistake

I’m being forced to listen to my inner self
If I can’t concentrate the study’s done for now
And if I ignore that warning sign
The next thing I know is: “ow!”

Previously I judged things externally
Studying to the end of the chapter, or for a certain time
Now I no longer have that luxury
According to this body of mine

And it can be incredibly frustrating
For I have a lot of work to catch up on!
But if I ignore my body I know I’ll pay
So it’s best I play along

And of course the running is over
Apparently there’s something else I should be doing
The fact that running is cheap and time efficient
To my body seems to have no meaning

It’s not worth complaining about though
It’s just something else to be worked with
For my body is only trying to help me really
It’s time I adopted that perspective

When we don’t listen to our body talk
That’s when we suffer from illness and disease
The body will talk to you if you will let it
You won’t even have to say please!

But if you continue to ignore it
In time it will no longer stay quiet
And you will find yourself very discomforted
By everything from ulcers to arthritis

I have learnt this lesson the hard way
As it seems so many I do!
So now I am finally listening to my body
And asking: “how can I best work with you?”

The Hardest Lesson

The hardest lesson of all
Or so it seems to me
Is detaching from all outcomes
And just letting things be

I try so hard in everything
From study through to singing
But in order to achieve the desired result
I really need to start detaching

For if I have an attachment
A desire for a certain outcome
Then I am far from relaxed about things
And probably not having much fun

What does it matter anyway
If I get the ‘money note’ or not?
I’m only singing in the shower
Nobody else really cares a jot!

And why is it so important
That I end up with a certain man?
I need to stop telling the universe what to do
Stop trying to modify the plan!

I truly sung my best
When I was hypomanic
Now that I am ‘normal’ I tense up
Although seldom totally panic

But when I was completely ‘mad’
I absolutely knew that I could sing
There was no room for doubt or fear
For I was no longer trying

The trick is to get out of the way
And instead of singing let yourself ‘be sung’
So much harder than it sounds though!
Is it this hard for everyone?

Why do I care what others think?
Why this attachment to ‘proving myself’’?
I am who I am, who I will always be
And so is everyone else

I don’t need more possessions
I don’t need the ‘perfect man’
I don’t need more qualifications
I’m enough just as I am!

It’s about time I realised this
Relaxed and just allowed myself to be
No matter what accoutrements I may collect
I can never be more than just me

And I will never achieve my full potential
If I don’t let go and stop damn well trying!
I choose to accept that my best is enough
It is time for me to work on just being

Living in Harmony

If you can allow not push or pull
If you can accept not try to force
If you can cease all resistance and be open to change
Then you will be living in harmony

If you can search for beauty with all your heart
If you can work together in cooperation
If you can appreciate all beings great and small
Then you will be living in harmony

We can never know what is ‘good’ or ‘bad’ really
For some of the ‘worst’ experiences in our life
Turn out to be the ‘best’ in time
Especially if you’re living in harmony

So it is pointless resisting change
And useless fighting what is
Like the seasons, this too shall pass
Accepting this will lead to harmony

If you can experience but not hold on to it
If you can permit others to be as they are
If you can love solely for the sake of loving
Then you will be living in harmony

If you can give for the sake of giving
But still be open to receiving
If you can let what must be, be
Then you will be living in harmony

We have become so disconnected
From everything but our minds
How does living in our heads
Help us to live in harmony?

We have become so out of tune
Out of sync with all we are
It is time we returned to our selves
Returned to live in harmony

If you can care not what others think
If you can know your own truth inside
If you can accept yourself as you are
Then you will be living in harmony

If you can help those who are in trouble
Giving aid with no thought of return
If you can drop all pretensions and be completely yourself
Then you will be living in harmony

Why have we separated ourselves from nature?
When there is so much she can teach us?
Why do we ignore our inner wisdom?
Why do we longer value harmony?

When our body talks, why don’t we listen?
Why this perception of humankind as all?
Living in our minds disconnected from our selves
We have forgotten how to find harmony

So if you can listen to the knowledge only you know
If you can perceive that which others cannot
If you can ask the questions and then embody the answers
You can once more live in harmony

Then you will always be at peace no matter what
And you will always be able to smile
Even to laugh when life may seem to be upside down
For you will be living in harmony

Lonely

It’s not really ‘politically correct’ in this world of ours
To admit you’re feeling lonely
It can be equated with being desperate or miserable
Not really things one wants to be!

We’re meant to be happy all the time
Living perfect lives contentedly
Super satisfied with life, whatever our lot
Well that’s how it can seem to me

I’ve never pretended to be perfect
I’ve always acknowledged my flaws
Which is why I’ve been able to grow and change
Become so much than I once was

Yes I am feeling lonely
Experiencing so much of my own company
I wish there was someone I could share my life with
That I wasn’t so solitary

This is what I have chosen though
Because I am not looking for just anyone
I need someone who can challenge me yes
But still be a lot of fun

A life-partner who understands
Who helps me to be all I can be
Adoring but still allowing me space to grow
Yes that’s what I want for me!

However, I refuse to be controlled
I’ve had enough of that in the past
So he would need to allow me my freedom
If the relationship was going to last

Yes my standards are high
And why shouldn’t they be so?
It is possible to be lonely even with someone
This fact most of us know

I will never be happy with a man
If he will not accept me for myself
I would not be happy living a lie
Pretending to be someone else

He needs to accept me as I am
And I need to do the same in return
For if I am seeking to change the man
That’s another lesson to learn!

We can never change someone else
Trying only harms the relationship’s health
This is a lesson I learnt the hard way
The only one we can change is ourself

So until that man enters my life
Who adores me just for being me
I will continue exactly as I am
There are far worse things to be than lonely!